.Sunday, September 16, 2007 ' 9:15 PM Y
Love you for reading my blog :D
As the title says, Life is back to an empty world. Me and my girl had a big fight. I guess I am back to singlehood. This is a big turning point in my life. For a girl whom I love so much. Yet complains about me. Life can't go on this way. Both of us cant't give in. I can't give in anymore. For 5 years, it is long but things had to come to an end. Sad it is. It hurts us bad. Maybe after some time, she might get over it. I hope I can, but I knew I can't. I had a feeling, I love her more than she loves me. It is kind of hard to measure, but it can be felt. It is not we drift apart, but our feelings turn sour. I see it coming but I try to save. Just last week, we had a quarrel over a concert held in my school. It is a Taiwanese girls band, Cherry Clan. I wanted to get tickets to watch with her( although it is free), but she rejected me and said that she don't know who are they and what they sing. This is all she cares. But all I cares is the time we spend together. Seeing a concert, live band, something we never done before. I often try to explain but fail. In the end, I gave up and went to my friend's birthday celebration. I was upset over it. Maybe she feels that it is far from her home. But I wil uphold my responsiblity and send her home. I wonder, spending time with me, in her eyes seems to be a waste of time. She would rather me to stay at home to play maplestory. I hate to break up, I still love her but I think I can't love her any further as it does bring bad than good. I knew our "honey moon" period was long over. Quarrels came in and upsets both of us. I often seems ok but I never ok. I am the great pretender. I always appears happy in front of her. Inside me, had a feeling that we will not last long. She says I can't change for her. SHe won't change for me till I change for her. I must listen to her words. Come home early means come home early, no two words about it. I need to change this and that. So many things. For her, I just accept her as who she is, no need to change, very simple for her. What can I demand from her? If being together just to quarrel, I rather not. CA is coming and I am not studying, no mood to study. Try very hard to forget what had happen and get on with life but I can't. The harder I try, the harder I cry. I need strenght to carry on...
